By: Umm Abd Al-Rahman

Do I depend on others to make me happy?  Do I let my circumstances control my attitude of happiness?  Do I blame others for my current condition?  Does everything around me seem to be overwhelming with the feeling that my head is barely above the water? Amira Ayad in her book: "Healing Body and Soul, Your Guide to Holistic Wellbeing Following Islamic Teachings" gives us 20 tips to be truly happy in our daily circumstances and challenges.

How Can I Be Truly Happy?

By: Umm Abd Al-Rahman

 

Do I depend on others to make me happy?  Do I let my circumstances control my attitude of happiness?  Do I blame others for my current condition?  Does everything around me seem to be overwhelming with the feeling that my head is barely above the water? Amira Ayad in her book: "Healing Body and Soul, Your Guide to Holistic Wellbeing Following Islamic Teachings" gives us 20 tips to be truly happy in our daily circumstances and challenges.

 

First and foremost, Am I a believer?  Allah Most High tells us in the Qur'an:  "…Then whoever follows my guidance shall neither go astray nor fall into distress and misery."  (Qur’an 20:123)

 

Am I grateful?  "And He gave you all that you asked for, and if you count the blessings of Allah you will never be able to count them…"  (Qur’an 14:34)   The Prophet (pbuh) said, "The believer's affair is amazing:  it is all for the good and that is not the same for anyone other than a believer.  If good times come to him, he is thankful and thus it is good for him and if bad times befall him he is patient and thus it is also good for him."  (Muslim)  And, "Look at those who are inferior to you and do not look at the ones above you, this is worthier of you so you do not despise Allah's blessings."  (Muslim)  And,   "I saw Hellfire and I never saw a scene like today and I saw most of its people are women."  They (the companions) asked, "O Messenger of Allah, why?"  He said, "Because of their disbelief."  They asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?"  He replied, "They are ungrateful to their companions (husbands) and what they provide for them; if you were kind to one of them for ages then she sees you make some mistake once, she says, 'I never saw any good from him."  (Bukhari)

 

Do I do good  for Allah's reward?  "And they give food, in spite of their love for it to the needy, the orphan, and the captive, [saying], "We feed you seeking Allah's countenance only.  We wish for no reward nor thanks from you.  Verily, we fear from Allah a Day, hard and distressful, that will make the faces look horrible.  So Allah saved them from the evil of that Day and gave them a light of beauty and joy, and their recompense shall be Paradise and silken garments, because they were patient."  (Qur’an 76:8-12)   The Prophet (pbuh) said, "Allah will help His servant as long as he helps his brother."  (Muslim)

 

Do I live in the moment?  The Prophet (pbuh) said, "When you wake up do not talk to yourself about the evening and if you enter into the evening do not talk to yourself about the morning:  take from your life for your death and from your health for your sickness, as you never know what your fate will be tomorrow."  (Bukhari)  And, "He who wakes in the morning while healthy in his body, safe in his residence and having the day's sustenance, will be as if the entire world was granted to him."  (Tirmidhi)

 

Do I detach myself from my material possessions?  "And strain not your eyes in longing for the things We have given for enjoyment to various groups of them – the splendor of the life of this world – that We may test them thereby.  But the provision of Allah is better and more lasting."  (Qur’an 20:131)   "Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world.  But the good righteous deeds that last are better with Allah for rewards and better in terms of hope."  (Qur’an 18:46)   The Prophet (pbuh)  said, "The human being says:  "My wealth!  My wealth!  But verily only three things are his out of (all) his wealth:  what he has consumed and used up or worn and worn out, or given away and acquired (a reward instead); and what is besides these shall be gone and he shall leave it for (other) people (when he dies).  (Muslim)

 

Do I love Allah, His messenger, others and myself? "Say [O Muhammad], 'If you love Allah then follow me, Allah will love you and forgive you your sins.  And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful'".  (Qur’an 3:31)  The Prophet (pbuh) said, "By the One Who holds my soul in His hand, you will not believe until you love each other.  Shall I tell you about something that if you do it you will love each other?  Spread peace among you."  (Muslim)  And, "None of you (truly) believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself."  (Bukhari)  And, "Those who love each other for My sake, have pulpits of light; the Prophets and the martyrs wish eagerly for their status."  (Tirmidhi)

 

Do I choose to be hopeful and optimistic?   "Their sides forsake their beds to invoke Allah in fear and hope, and they spend out of what We have bestowed on them.  No person knows what is kept hidden for them of joy as a reward for what they used to do."  (Qur’an 32:16-17) The Prophet (pbuh) said, "…Verily, patience should be shown at the first stroke of a calamity."  (Bukhari)

 

Do I take responsibility for what I choose to think, feel, speak, my actions and current condition of my every day life?  "Whatever good reaches you is from Allah, but whatever of evil befalls you is from yourself…"  (Qur’an 4:79)   "Verily, Allah will not deal unjustly with people in anything:  it is people who wrong their own souls."  (Qur’an 10:44)   "Verily, Allah will never change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves…"  (Qur’an  13:11)

 

What am I seeking out of this life?  What are my specific goals? "And I [Allah] created the jinns and humans only so they should worship Me [alone]."  (Qur’an 51:56)   "Therefore, when you are free [from your immediate task], still labor hard"   (Qur’an 94:7)  "And to Allah [alone] turn [all your intentions and hopes and] your supplications."  (Qur’an 94:8)

 

Am I empowered?  "…And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him.  Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose.  Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things."  (Qur’an 65:3)   "Allah will establish in strength those who believe, with the word that stands firm, in this world and in the Hereafter…"  (Qur’an 14:27)  Say the daily remembrances (adthkar) including:  "In the name of Allah in Whose Name nothing can cause harm in the earth or the heavens.  He is the All-Hearer and the All-Knower."

 

Do I forgive and forget?  "And whoever is patient and forgives, indeed that is of the steadfast heart of things."  (Qur’an 42:43)   "Let them pardon and forgive.  Do you not love that Allah should forgive you?  And  Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."  (Qur’an 24:22)  A man once asked the Prophet:  "O Messenger of Allah, how many times do I forgive my servant?"  The Prophet replied, "Seventy times each day and night."  (Tirmidhi)   "Those  who repress anger and pardon people, verily, Allah loves the doers of good."  (Qur’an 3:134)

 

Do I control my temper?    "And that which Allah has is better and more lasting for those who believe…and when they are angry, they forgive."  (Qur’an 42:36-37)   The Prophet (pbuh) said, "Who do you count as strong among you?"  The companions said, "The one who throws people down (during fights)"   He (pbuh) said, "No.  The strong one is he who controls his temper when he gets angry."  (Muslim)  And, "Anger is from the devil and the devil is made of fire and fire is extinguished by water, so if anyone of you gets angry, let him perform ablution."  (Ahmed)

 

Do I worry?  "Know that the life of this world is only play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting among you and rivalry in respect of wealth and children, as the likeness of vegetation after rain, thereof the growth is pleasing to the tiller; afterwards it dries up and you see it turning yellow; then it becomes straw."  (Qur’an 57:20)   "Truly humans were created very impatient;  fretful when evil touches them and grudging when good touches them."  (Qur’an 70:19-20)   The Prophet (pbuh) said, "Whoever makes his concern only one (that of the Hereafter), Allah will make him content with (his share in this) worldly life; but whoever is surmounted by worries, Allah would not bother in which worldly valley he might perish."  (Hakim)  He (pbuh) said, "Whenever sadness or grief strikes someone he should say:  "O Allah!  I am your servant, the son of your servants.  My forelock is in Your grasp.  Your decision about me will certainly come to pass.  Your judgment on me is certainly just.  I ask you by every Name that is Yours and by which You call Yourself, whether You revealed it in your Book, taught it to someone of your creation or kept it in the knowledge of the unseen that You have.  Make the Qur'an the spring of my heart, the light of my chest, the eliminator of my sadness and the end of my grief."  (Ahmed)

 

Do I truly submit myself to Allah's will?  "Say, 'In Whose Hand is the sovereignty of everything?  And he protects [all], while against Whom there is no protector, [if Allah saves anyone none can punish or harm him, and if Allah punishes or harms anyone none can save him], if you know.'  (Qur’an 23:88)    "And Moses said, 'O my people!  If you have believed in Allah, then put your trust in Him if you are Muslims (those who submit to Allah's will).  (Qur’an  10:84)   A supplication the Prophet (pbuh) taught us is:  "O Allah!  I submit myself to You and entrust my affairs to You and I turn my face towards you and my hope and fear is of You.  Verily, there is neither refuge nor safe haven from You except with You.  I believe in your Book which You have revealed and in your Prophet whom You have sent." (Bukhari)

 

Am I flexible?  "It may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you.  Allah knows but you do not know."  (Qur’an 2:216)  The Prophet (pbuh) said, "The likeness of the believer is as a stalk of corn which the wind does not cease to blow down; even so trials do no cease to fall upon the believer.  The likeness of a hypocrite is as a cypress tree which does not bend (or shake) unless it is felled." (Bukhari)

 

Do I remember death?  "Say, 'Verily, the death from which you flee will surely meet you, then you will be sent back to [Allah], the All- Knower of the unseen and the seen and He will tell you what you used to do." (Qur’an 62:8)   Then a man from the Ansar asked the Prophet (pbuh), 'O Prophet of Allah!  Who are the wisest and most honored of people?  The Prophet answered, 'Those who remember death most and prepare most for it.  They pass away with honor in this world and the next.'"  (Tabarani)

 

Am I content and satisfied?  "Do people think that they will be left alone because they say, 'We believe and will not be tested?"  (Qur’an 29:2)   The Prophet (pbuh) said, "The bigger the test is, the greater the reward for it will be.  When Allah loves people, He tests them.  If they accept the affliction (cheerfully), then they will achieve contentment (or Allah's Pleasure); and those who become enraged (or evade the affliction) will only reap Allah's Rage."  (Tirmidhi)  The Prophet (pbuh) taught us to say three times after the fajr and asr prayers:  "O Allah, I am satisfied with Allah as my God, Islam as my religion and Muhammad (pbuh) as my Prophet. (Muslim)    He (pbuh) said that if one says this dthikr at these times it is mandatory that Allah will grant that person satisfaction and contentment."  (Tirmidhi)

 

Am I patient and steadfast?  "And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and crops, but give glad tidings to the steadfast ones who when afflicted with a calamity, say: Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.  They are those on whom are the blessings from Allah and receive His Mercy and it is they who are the guided ones."  (Qur’an 2:155-157) "Only those who are steadfast shall receive their rewards in full, without reckoning."  (Qur’an 39:10)   "And Allah is with the steadfast ones."  (Qur’an 2:249)   The Prophet (pbuh) said, "The best (aspects) of faith are patience and tolerance."  (Albani)  And he (pbuh) taught us this supplication when in an adversity:  "We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return.  O Allah, give me blessing in this adversity and follow it with what is better for me."  And Allah will answer his request.  (Muslim)  He (pbuh) also said, "No fatigue, no disease, no sorrow, no sadness, no hurt, no distress befalls a Muslim, even if it was the prick he received from a thron, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for it."  (Bukhari)

 

Do I make time for myself? Salman once said to Abu Darda':  "Allah has a right over you, your own self has a right over you and your partner has a right over you; so give everyone his due right."  When the Prophet (pbuh) was informed of what he had said, he replied, "Salman has spoken the truth."  (Bukhari)

 

Do I seek Allah's forgiveness?  "And seek the forgiveness of Allah and turn to Him in repentance that He may grant you good enjoyment for a term appointed and bestow His abounding grace to every gracious one."  (Qur’an 11:3)   The Prophet (pbuh) said, "By Allah, I seek Allah's Forgiveness and repent to Him more than seventy times each day." (Bukhari)  "Ask forgiveness from Allah, Verily, He is Oft-Forgiving; He will send rain to you in abundance; and give you increase in wealth and children and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers."  (Qur’an 71:10-12)  "{The believers, whose lives Allah has purchased are} those who repent to Allah, who worship Him, who praise Him, who fast, who bow down, who prostrate themselves, who enjoin doing good and forbid from evil and who observe the limits set by Allah.   And give glad tidings to the believers."  (Qur’an 9:112)

"…And all of you who repent to Allah, O believers, that you may be successful."  (Qur’an 24:31)

O Allah Most High, give us success in this world and in the Hereafter and keep us away from Hell-fire.  Guide us on your straight path and keep our hearts firm in our faith.  Amin.